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Monday, August 16, 2004
it's normal not to forget your first love my blog has become both dull and boring. why can't there be fighting on the tagboards? why can't people bash my writing and poetry? why can't you disagree with my opinions? please, give me suggestions on how to make this blog more interesting for me, as well as you all. at this point, i will pretty much do... anything. speak your mind. Thursday, August 12, 2004
converse with reputation A youth named Equality 7-2521 writes in a journal from underground, where he is alone in an abandoned railroad tunnel. He writes. Hush, darling. Please keep still. Your ruthless actions wont assist you in escaping this ordeal. You’ve been twisting my words into a story untold and you're spinning these lies in hope that your heart turns gold. Is it really that simple? We'll find out in the end when you are lying in your bed and your pushing your hips into his. You'll be screaming for something you'll never get. You’ve always liked to receive. Lush, this mirror isn’t lying, as much as you want to make believe. Admit that it controls you and we can move on. Wait, there you go again. Face it, there’s no one to entertain. You can’t escape your shadow, you can only alter it. Call me cynical, but your hearts as empty as the bottle under your bed. And I’ll never touch that stuff again.
just came up with that a few minutes ago. it makes sense too me. that's all that matters. Tuesday, August 10, 2004
elimination time bitches +15 scene points if you fill the following out and email it/post in the comments. What Would You do if... I cried: I said I liked you: I kissed you: I was hospitalized: I ran away from home: I got in a fight and you were there: I got dumped: I pissed you off: What Do You Think Of My... Personality: Eyes: Face: Hair: Clothes: Voice: Humor: Choice of music: Mannerisms: Family: Friends: Decisions: Would You... Be my friend: Tell me the truth no matter what: Lie to make me feel better: Spread rumors about me: Keep a secret if I told you one: Loan me some cash: Hold my hand: Take a bullet for me: Keep in touch: Try and solve my problems: Love me: makeout with me: hold me in times of need: Have sex with me: Ditch me: Use me: Date me: Rape me: Beat me up: Wednesday, June 30, 2004
you move slow like day time drama It is currently 6:15 a.m. No, I didn't just wake up. I haven't fallen asleep. Maybe I do have Insomnia. Also, as we get deeper into the summer season, I think I may have depression. I get these constant feelings of sadness and question. Why am I here? Is there something bigger than this world? Confusing thoughts whirl through my head and I just don't feel so great right now. I feel lonely, I feel used, I feel lonely most of all. I need something. I am missing something. I can not grasp it, it is on the tip of my tongue, but I just don't know what it is. It's teasing my heart. The birds are chirping. The sun is becoming brighter. I don't feel the least bit tired, even as of now. Why is this happening? What is going on? I need someone with passion. You can tell by the kiss. You can tell by the way they stare into your eyes. I need to tell. I need someone with that kind of passion. Does anyone have it? Does anyone have it? I want to click publish, but I feel as if there is so much more I should share. I want to click publish, but I feel as if I am holding something back. Am I? Answer that question for me. These thoughts keep circling through my head, and I can't seem to catch one and elaborate on it. The birds are chirping. The sun is becoming brighter. I don't feel the least bit tired, even as of now. Jealousy is a sin. I feel empty like that bottle under his bed. I feel so empty. Will tomorrow make a difference? Will any of this matter? Three years from now I will know no one and forget these things we call friendship and love. So why try? Why care? It will all be ripped away. That's how life works. I just want to break down and cry. There are no shoulders to cry on, and that is something you, her, him, and she needs. The birds are chirping. The sun is becoming brighter. I don't feel the least bit tired, even as of now. I've been scribbling words on paper, and I can't seem to understand my own writing. The words make no sense while laying on paper, but in my head they make perfect sense. I understand the world in my head. I know when everything will happen, because everything will eventually happen. He see's it coming. She see's it coming. You see it coming. But they don't know that it's coming. The birds are chirping. The sun is becoming brighter. I don't feel the least bit tired, even as of now. You don't understand what I am explaining. If you do, we are soulmates, and I am being honest. The birds are chirping. The sun is becoming brighter. I don't feel the least bit tired, even as of now. Monday, June 28, 2004
i love it when you type reeeeeal slow i never asked for your opinion, but i got it, and I get it. Exhaustion. That single, sorry word pretty much sums up the last few weeks of my dragging summer. I find myself taking naps, very long naps. For some reason, I haven't been shutting my eyes until 3-4 every morning. Am I being overtaken by the overrated disease Insomnia. I doubt it. My sleeping pattern just has been hectic, almost matching my daily pattern with basketball. Practices and contests have been consuming my precious time we fellow teenagers like to call "summer". Last night, I went to bed around 3:00, only to be awoken by an alarm that beeps periodically at 9:00 in the morning. Before retiring from my bed, I plotted escapes and excuses from the dreaded practice. Of course, all were rather fictional and would it would take large sums of money to follow through with the different plans. I accepted my only option, and went to practice. Not only was I forced to attend practice this morning, I have a game tonight. We are versing the freshman team of Central Catholic. On the previous friday, we played the 10th grade Central Catholic team. I managed to rack up at leaast 20 points in the contest but we fell short at the end losing by 5. I was pretty dissapointed. I hussled the entire game and scored at least 20 points, only to fall short? Come on. This can't be. I am not letting us lose this evening. I'm guaranteeing a win. Mark my words. This past weekend, I saw 2 movies. One was Fahrenheit 9/11. It was alright. I'm not all into arguing about politics and war. Honestly, most of the people that converse about those topics have no idea what they are talking about. They see one side, and are ignorant to the other. Therefore, I'm not going to sit here and bash on Bush, or agree with the war... I don't follow it enough to come to an honest opinion. I advise others to do the exact same. Don't just come to a conclusion without knowing all of the facts. The other movie I saw was The Notebook. I can honestly say this is the best movie I've seen. Yes, I though long and hard about giving The Notebook the title of best movie ever, and I have concluded that it is infact the best movie ever. I won't summarize the film... but it has an obvious twist that is pretty interesting, and the film is so emotional. It catches every aspect of emotion, and it wasn't afraid to be "a romance" in a world where Romance's are criticized. God bless The Notebook, God Bless. I hope you are all enjoying the new layout. I know I am. In a world where more means more, less means more to me... if that makes sense. You always cum close but you never cum easy... I'm in your room now is this turning you on am I turning you on? I'm in your room are you turned on? I'm on the corner of your bed, I'm thinking maybe, are you turned on, are you turned on? Sunday, June 27, 2004
you can list your friends, but you can't count on them so much for "friends". what is this, the 7th time i've been fucking blown off. what a hell of a summmer. i'm glad i have such excellent friends, i really am. bullshit. i want to do something tonight, please give me a call. and it would be nice if you could provide the ride. <3 from near and far, brendan w. lowry Thursday, June 24, 2004
to write this down is means to reconcile I'll admit, I am horrible at updating this journal. The reasons are far from my control, so I beg you, please do not be angry with me. Recently, most of my time has been spent at basketball practices and games. I do not want to be there, but I am forced to go. Last night I visited Ashlyn. We watched Love and Basketball, which I must say is an excellent movie, and she cheated in Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot. Honestly, i never thought it was possible to cheat in such a game, but last night I found out it is possible. Do not play rock, paper, scissors, shoot with ashlyn lewis. Do not. This summer, so far, is officially ranked as a 2 out of 10. Last summer was about a 7. Please, somebody help me lift this rating. Cheer me up, with an e-mail, a comment, a phone call, some money, a gift, a kiss, good news, anything. Lets get this summer up to, or at least, a 5. I have some more writing in the works for all you hustlers out there. Stay tuned if interested. Saturday, June 19, 2004
work in progress this is a work in progress, i wrote it quickly. it's just what came to my head. These tree’s pose as a backdrop for the firefly show. They assemble into the shape of a heart with your name in the middle. Complete with the dotted i. I reach up to grab it and the blinking lights scatter. They’re scattered like your words on this night of two months before. Indecision and make believe nights surround my thoughts and are looking to strike anywhere. Hide behind phrases and quotes that have no meanings. I will find you someday. These rare conversations that come once a month are beginning to become routine. We’ll sum up our lives and the problems we’ve been having, but this isn’t helping. It brings back regrets that have been gone for sometime. But I want them to come, because along with them are memories. Memories that tell a story of love, lust, and heartbreak. Memories are all we have sometimes, it leads to the perfect formula for my depression. Monday, June 14, 2004
it's not like you ever cared this is me. this is brendan lowry.i am who i am. i am what i write. you care? i don't. this is weird, but whatever. here it is. Your kiss still lingers on my envious lips. It’s been too long. My heart wants your mind and my eyes want your body. I want to read it over and over again. My eye’s still haven’t strayed from your body. Lust is taking over at two in the morning and you’ve never been more beautiful. My hands are on your hips and I only imagine things we could do. Lovers at last and this secret’s between me and you… I can’t say what's on my mind and I can say I haven‘t felt this way before. I can’t say we’ve been here already. Your lips to my ear and I surrender. Whisper sweet sorrows that trigger my heart and glaze my mind with something that’s never been there before. I know what you are thinking as you lick your lips and look to the floor… Friday, June 04, 2004
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